Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Egg and Dumplings
"Alright," Emit said, "I'm going to go this way, and you two go that way. Don't get lost.
"Before Dave or Sally could say "What way?" Emit had gone, and the two found themselves alone in the Id.
"I suppose we should start looking then," Dave said.
Sally nodded, and the two stepped away from the door.
"Don't slip" Sally cautioned, just as Dave slipped, slid through a trapdoor and out of view.
"Hmmm, ok then" Sally sighed, "So much for not getting separated."
Deciding she would rather do something than just sit around, Sally walked to a nearby door, opened it, and entered a dining room.
She could tell it was a dining room, because there was a table, with chairs, placemats, knives, forks, spoons, plates, cups, saucers, candles, and food all laid out.
There was also someone sitting at the table, eating.The someone, more of a some thing really, had a round body, with arms and legs. The center of its body had a large mouth, and two smaller eyes like black buttons on either side just above the mouth. It looked a little like an over-sized egg, wore a bib around it's middle, and was eating a dumpling.
As Sally approached, the figure looked up, screamed, and dropped its knife and fork on to the floor.
"Who are you?" the egg-thing demanded in a different font.
"I'm Sally," said Sally. "Who are you?"
"I'm asking the questions here!" said the egg-thing, and fell silent.
Eventually, unable to think of another question, it said "My name is Humpty."
"Humpty? Humpty Dumpty?" Sally asked.
"No, Humpty Dumpling-eater" said Humpty Dumpling-eater. "Don't worry though, lots of people get my name wrong. Its an easy mistake to make. It's all that stupid historian's fault. Hah! Poetic license! I laugh in the face of his poetic license! How dare he change my name just to make a poem work! I still say that Humpty Dumpling-eater would have fitted in just as well!!!!"
Sally thought about this for a moment.
It was at this moment that Sally realized Humpty Dumpling-eater was a real bad egg.
"Before Dave or Sally could say "What way?" Emit had gone, and the two found themselves alone in the Id.
"I suppose we should start looking then," Dave said.
Sally nodded, and the two stepped away from the door.
"Don't slip" Sally cautioned, just as Dave slipped, slid through a trapdoor and out of view.
"Hmmm, ok then" Sally sighed, "So much for not getting separated."
Deciding she would rather do something than just sit around, Sally walked to a nearby door, opened it, and entered a dining room.
She could tell it was a dining room, because there was a table, with chairs, placemats, knives, forks, spoons, plates, cups, saucers, candles, and food all laid out.
There was also someone sitting at the table, eating.The someone, more of a some thing really, had a round body, with arms and legs. The center of its body had a large mouth, and two smaller eyes like black buttons on either side just above the mouth. It looked a little like an over-sized egg, wore a bib around it's middle, and was eating a dumpling.
As Sally approached, the figure looked up, screamed, and dropped its knife and fork on to the floor.
"Who are you?" the egg-thing demanded in a different font.
"I'm Sally," said Sally. "Who are you?"
"I'm asking the questions here!" said the egg-thing, and fell silent.
Eventually, unable to think of another question, it said "My name is Humpty."
"Humpty? Humpty Dumpty?" Sally asked.
"No, Humpty Dumpling-eater" said Humpty Dumpling-eater. "Don't worry though, lots of people get my name wrong. Its an easy mistake to make. It's all that stupid historian's fault. Hah! Poetic license! I laugh in the face of his poetic license! How dare he change my name just to make a poem work! I still say that Humpty Dumpling-eater would have fitted in just as well!!!!"
Sally thought about this for a moment.
Humpty Dumpling-eater sat on a wall….
It didn't have quite the same ring to it.
Humpty untied the bib from his middle, pushed his chair back, stretched, yawned, and looked across at Sally again.
"So, Sally, how'd you end up here anyway? You related to Emit or something? You look like you're the same species."
"No, my friend Dave and I were just picked up by Emit when his Renidt went crazy. He thinks it has Renidtitus or something. What about you? How'd you get here? And, aren't you supposed to be in pieces?"
"Oh dear" Humpty said, as he stood, still holding his bib, and approached Sally, "You believe that silly poem, don't you. I never fell off a wall and broke into pieces. I jumped off the wall and escaped into the woods. The king's stupid horses and men just couldn't find me, and so they said I had broken into pieces to excuse themselves for letting me get away. It was all going well for me, too, until Emit picked me up three days ago in Dimension 34. He wants to take me back to prison in my home dimension, but I'm not going."
Now Humpty smiled nastily, as he took the bib and used it to tie Sally's hands together. "Now I have leverage. I'm getting off at the next dimension, and you're going to come with me."
It was at this moment that Sally realized Humpty Dumpling-eater was a real bad egg.
# posted by Lark Victory @ 8:18 PM 
